They Come Today!

I am so excited! My dad will be here in a little over 5 hours... I amleaving here around 3:30 to meet them at the airport... I CAN'T WAIT!

There are so many other things going on though! I haven't heard from my mother-in-law since sunday, and I am getting worried. There's no phone either! I've tried myspace, yahoo messenger, etc. and still no word! My husband doesn't know though, so that's good, otherwise we'd be driving up there, and I don't want to!

Anyways, everything is good here... just excited for my dad and sisters and stepmom to be here!!!

Whoa!

I have been doing a ton of research over the past few days, and even now, when I should be getting a nap in, considering I have been exhausted lately, I am researching more and more. I am finding out that we need to get Peter's diagnosis. He is doing so good at Grandma's (he's been there since late Wednesday night) and it's given me some time to catch up on my rest, and prepare things for him. I love him so much, it's not even funny. I seriously think if I didn't have him, I wouldn't be here right now. He saved my life. He is an amazing little boy with such a personality. Anyways, I have researched alot! I found out about repetition and what it means to him, and about his fits. The fits that make me want to lose my mind! I also learned from Grandma and Grandpa that I need to be firm with him, because it's not helping any of my children by being a pushover. I REALLY need to learn that. I have been trying it with Jacquelyne since she got home from my mom's yesterday and she is actually taking a nap at naptime. Tonight, she sleeps in her own bed! Wahoo!! But I've learned alot. In less than 29 hours my dad, stepmom, and two little sisters will be here from Texas... I CAN'T WAIT! I know that we are going to have a blast! And I am excited to get to spend time with them!! I will definitely be blogging every night so I can update everyone!! I am psyched... so tomorrow, I meet them at the airport (to surprise my dad), and I can't wait... so time to take a nap... the kids are both sleeping!!

Hasta Luego! (I knew 3 years of Spanish would come to use for something!) Oh and by the way, I posted almost 50 pictures to Facebook this morning (most of them are Jacquelyne taking pictures of herself!!)

Where Exactly Do I Go From Here?

I have been trying to deny it. Trying since he was 3 years old... not gonna happen anymore. My baby is almost 7, and it's time I finally admit it. Peter has Autism. We have good days and bad days. Lately, it's been more bad than good. It's not fun. I end up in the corner sometimes crying because I cannot control my own child. It kills me to hear him scream. I think I've always known there was something different about him, I just didn't realize that it was that important to find out and deal with it, rather than just sit around and deny it. I love my little boy, he's been my rock for so long, and now I have to be his. It kills me. I don't know how to deal with it, but I am hoping to learn. He is my life. I think about him, his brother, and his sister every waking moment of my life. I don't know what to do. I'm tired of fighting with him over simple things, because all he does is scream. He screams over little things, like when he wants to watch something on the TV in the living room and no one else does, or when Jacquelyne takes a happy meal toy from him. And the screaming lasts for up to 4 hours. I just can't deal with it all the time. And Matt gets so frustrated he keeps threatening to leave. I am almost ready to tell him to go, I can do it on my own, but I know I can't. Matthew and Jacquelyne need me too. Although Peter is pretty independent, he still needs me. He's playing with his happy meal toys now, and it's 11:35 pm. I keep thinking he should go to bed, but I don't want to hear him scream. I don't want to cry anymore today. And then I feel guilty like I caused the Autism somehow. I know deep down that I didn't, but it's hard to tell your brain that. All I want is for my baby to be normal, but that will never happen, and I know it. Oh well, tomorrow is another day, another moment. But will it ever be normal?

Where do I go now? They say they have all sorts of programs, but what exactly are they going to do for my baby?

It's Been Awhile

While I have been trying to type everyday, to keep people I updated, I have not been able to. I haven't actually posted a new entry since we were in the hospital. And this is the first time since then, that my beautiful little girl has actually taken a regular nap! So...

School's out! Peter is home for the summer! And so far, so good. We are getting him a couch for his room, and that will be good. He would rather sleep on the couch then in his bed. This one is kind of a sectional. I actually might put it in my living room and put my couch in his room. Hmmm....

Jacquelyne is recovering well. She has done amazing! She knows she had surgery, and is happy as a clam! She is enjoying the summer too!!

Matthew is a step from crawling! He goes a few steps and then stops. It's the cutest thing ever! I wish he would stay little little forever, after all, he is the baby!!

The fourth of July was awesome! We went to Charlie's where it was supposed to be quiet, but no luck thanks to Uncle Jim! He bought a ton of fireworks for everyone to light off. Peter had a blast lighting fireworks for the first time!! Jacquelyne didn't like the big booms, but she seemed to be okay after a bit, and as long as she was with me, Shelley, Marni or Corinne! The highlight of the night for me was when we played "Thriller" and of course we've watched "13 Going On 30" a gazillion times, so Peter went out to the culdesac and was doing the Thriller dance! It was the cutest thing ever. Matthew slept through most of it, so it was all good.

**UPDATE** My mother-in-law, Janine, has about a year left. We went and saw her yesterday and she is not doing good. Please pray for her, as it is killing my husband that he is losing his mom. My daughter is also not happy about it. She loves her grandma so much! Her and I had a long talk yesterday and things are okay between us. We have our ups and downs, and no matter what, I will always love her. If she didn't have Matt, I wouldn't have my kids! I'll have to remember to thank her later tonight when I talk to her.

Anyways,... THAT'S ALL FOR NOW FOLKS!!