Where Exactly Do I Go From Here?

I have been trying to deny it. Trying since he was 3 years old... not gonna happen anymore. My baby is almost 7, and it's time I finally admit it. Peter has Autism. We have good days and bad days. Lately, it's been more bad than good. It's not fun. I end up in the corner sometimes crying because I cannot control my own child. It kills me to hear him scream. I think I've always known there was something different about him, I just didn't realize that it was that important to find out and deal with it, rather than just sit around and deny it. I love my little boy, he's been my rock for so long, and now I have to be his. It kills me. I don't know how to deal with it, but I am hoping to learn. He is my life. I think about him, his brother, and his sister every waking moment of my life. I don't know what to do. I'm tired of fighting with him over simple things, because all he does is scream. He screams over little things, like when he wants to watch something on the TV in the living room and no one else does, or when Jacquelyne takes a happy meal toy from him. And the screaming lasts for up to 4 hours. I just can't deal with it all the time. And Matt gets so frustrated he keeps threatening to leave. I am almost ready to tell him to go, I can do it on my own, but I know I can't. Matthew and Jacquelyne need me too. Although Peter is pretty independent, he still needs me. He's playing with his happy meal toys now, and it's 11:35 pm. I keep thinking he should go to bed, but I don't want to hear him scream. I don't want to cry anymore today. And then I feel guilty like I caused the Autism somehow. I know deep down that I didn't, but it's hard to tell your brain that. All I want is for my baby to be normal, but that will never happen, and I know it. Oh well, tomorrow is another day, another moment. But will it ever be normal?

Where do I go now? They say they have all sorts of programs, but what exactly are they going to do for my baby?