Time To Start Over

So, I've decided to write in purple tonight... I have officially started over. I am filing for divorce, and it is the best thing for me and the kids right now. Things are going to be tough, but I know that I have a great family and good friends when I need them.

So as for friends, I got two of my best friends back! Ryan and I have been friends since right after I graduated from high school almost ten years ago (I can't believe it's been that long), and we always seem to lose touch and get back in touch again. Finally, we have each other. I don't know where it's going but it's fun trying to find out. He's going to come and see me this weekend, and we haven't seen each other in about 6 years so it'll be interesting!!! And Stephanie, my best friend from High School... I got in touch with a few of her cousins, and got her email, and so far, it seems like things will be good. I've missed her so much, her family was like my family, and her mom has always been my 2nd mom. I hope to see her soon!! I never cried so hard as when I found out she had a baby. He's adorable, and I can't wait to meet him! And I've got Lindsay, she's the most treasured friend I have. We've known each other since preschool, and thanks to the wonders of the internet we've found each other. She's amazing. She's always there when I need to talk, and I couldn't ask for a better friend! Thank you Lindsay!!

As for the kids, they are taking things really well. Peter is doing great in school, and for the first time in months, he went to sleep with out a TV on. I think that's exactly what he needed. Jacquelyne is driving me nuts! She's on a major attitude spree, and it's almost like she thinks she is 16, and not 3!! Matthew is almost walking... I wish he would hurry up and start... He keeps climbing in my cupboards and getting stuck because all he can do is crawl. Peter just got his first math test back... 80%!!!! Woo hoo! I am so proud of him!!

As for me, my emotions are scattered. Sometimes I'm happy, then I'm sad, and then I'm mad. I have decided that it is me time, and there is no better time than the present to find out who I truly am and what happened to the old me? I guess we'll just wait and see!

My new goal is to blog at least every other day. It helps get my emotions out, and that's exactly what I need!

To end with a quote...

"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." ~Albert Schweitzer

Time Flies

So, my last post was about how I thought it was time to file for divorce. Wrong, didn't do it, but still thinking things could be better. I still can't trust him, and what is a relationship without trust? I think he thinks that I'll be here no matter what, but that is wrong. I can no longer sit here and be put through the same shit over and over again. It isn't fair to me, and it isn't fair to my kids. They need a mother who is strong and not always ready to melt. I always feel like I need to cry and just cry. I don't get it. It isn't fair.
To other things, the kids are doing good. Matthew will be 10 months on the 19th, and we are getting ready to plan his first birthday. A big first birthday, with his first set of BBQ ribs. That's right, my Aunt said that she'd stand outside in the cold and BBQ Matthew ribs for his first birthday. Peter has started school, turned 7, and lost another tooth. He's doing great. I am so proud of him. Jacquelyne starts preschool tomorow at daycare, and I am so excited for her. She is going to learn to write her name already! Hooray! Ballet starts in December, and she is totally excited. We are even taking a mommy and me class to start.
And... I'm working again! I love it. I'm doing collections, which I've always been good at, and it seems that's what I am fit to be doing. I love it. I have no problem being yelled at. It's actually kinda fun. And I enjoy being outta the house for most the day. It's my quiet time. I need it.
We've tried a marriage counselor, who suggested I go to grief counseling. I've had a super hard time since my dad died, and now I need to start healing. I am going to start a journal with letters to him. That way I can tell him things day to day and know that I'm not crazy. Just so he knows that I do miss him!!
Other than that, things have been good. Tired, but good.

Is It Time?

So, lately, my facebook status and myspace status have been all jumbled and crazy. But I'm beginning to wonder if I am not the one who is crazy. I think I am just all stressed out and am tired of all the bologna. There are only a few people who know what is really going on. And I have been trying to keep it that way. I thank god that I have made it through, and that I know he is there to push me through the rest of the way. All I want to know is if it's time. Time for the big D. I don't know... I guess that's what is troubling me the most. I am tired of all the bullshit, all the drama from him and even parts of his family. I love him, yes, but I don't trust him. After all, don't you need trust for a relationship? I know I do. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't trust me. That's just the way I feel. I watch my kids get older and watch us fight and I know that they need me to be stable. Mentally stable, and with him, I don't think I am. I think this is the end, but I'm not sure... Is It Time? I keep asking myself that question over and over again! I don't know, I guess only time will tell, Is he really gonna change this time? Doubt it. You would think that we have been through so much, and that things would reallychange. But he's never changed and I don't know if he ever will! And that's just that!!

WHY?!?!?!?!?!

Why is it everytime I leave, he gets back and does all those stupid things? Apparently I am not allowed to go on vacation at all!!!! FUCKER! I hate him so much sometimes!!!

And... Matthew update!!! He is now crawling, pulling himself up (on EVERYTHING), saying mama, dada, and it sounds like he is trying to say I love you, and growling!! He's turning into a pill like his sister, getting in to everything!! It's going to be fun!!

California Adventures!!

So, it's been awhile, and I thought I better fill everybody in!!

Monday the 10th, me, Peter and Jacquelyne took off to California with my mom, niece, and nephew. The kids were so excited, and so was I! So, here's a look at what we did...

10th: Flew in to California, checked in at the hotel. Our room wasn't ready so they held our bags for us, while we went to Disneyland! Went to Disneyland. Right as we walked in, Peter was chosen to play the drums with Donald Duck. Didn't do much, walked around mostly. Had dinner reservations at 6:00... a Character dining. So Fun! It was a buffet at Goofy's Kitchen in Disneyland Hotel. The kids met Goofy, Pluto, Minnie, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella. Peter was so excited! Jacquelyne loved Cinderella. And the Cinderella was amazing! She spent about 10 minutes with Jacquelyne alone! We went back to the hotel, and went to bed!

11th: Got up and went to California Adventures park. There wasn't as much for Jacq to do there, but she still had fun! They have an awesome roller coaster and a 1000 foot drop there, so it was way cool! We had a princess lunch. Jacq got to meet Ariel, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Belle, and Snow White. She loved it. Everyday she asks if she can eat with the princesses. Played around the park and watched the Electrical Parade. Jacq saw Cinderella's mice and almost ran out to see them.

12th: Went to Sea World in San Diego. Saw Shamu and a bunch of other sea animals. But the best was definitely Shamu. I've seen the Orcas a thousand times in the islands, but it's way cooler to be so close to them. It never ceases to amaze me. There were two rides there that got me and my neice Jessica soaked!! It was awesome though! We had so much fun there! Rode a shuttle back and then for the first time in my life, we had room service! It was so cool!! Oh yeah, they have a Sesame Street thing there and the kids got to meet Elmo!!

13th: Went back to Disneyland. Started out with a character breakfast. I got to meet Eeyore! He is by far my favorite disney character!! Had a wonderful breakfast, and Peter got to sing the Bibbidy Boppidy Boo song with Cinderella's fairy godmother. It was awesome. We went to all different places in Disneyland and rode rides. Splash Mountain, Indiana Jones, and meeting Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, and Eeyore were my favorites of the day. Jacq didn't have much to ride, but you'll see there was more for her!! Watched the fireworks that night, and Tinkerbell and Dumbo both flew over Sleeping Beauty's castle. That is all I've heard about from Jacquelyne since. It was amazing!!

14th: Went to Universal Studios. Rode on all the rides. Jacq couldn't do anything there. Shrek 4-D was it. It wasn't fun for her at all. But, Peter and I rode on Jurassic Park and the Mummy ride. They were awesome! Peter's favorite was the Simpsons Ride. It was pretty cool too! We had dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe. That was the best burger I've ever eaten! Then our bus driver took us through the Walk of Fame, Kodak Theater, and the Chinese Theater where everyone's hand prints are. That night, we got back and went swimming. We left my mom at the hotel.

15th: Went to Disneyland, and rode the rest of the rides. Jacq got to ride everything!! She even rode on the Matterhorn, twice!! It was awesome for her, she loved it! We stayed long enough that it was after 11 when we got back to our hotel! The kids were having so much fun!

16th: Went and did the last little bit of Disneyland! We didn't get to ride anything in Toon Town, but that was because the lines were just way too long, and we were way too tired! So, we looked around, did the souvenier thing, and went back to the hotel. We went swimming! Then had a nice dinner at the hotel. Topped off by going to bed early, it was wonderful!!

17th: Got up, packed up the Hotel room, and checked out. Dropped our luggage off at the front desk of the hotel. We went to CoCo's for breakfast, and then walked to Anaheim Garden Walk (an outdoor mall) where we watched the new Adam Sandler/Seth Rogen movie "Funny People". Not such a good movie for my kids, but the rest of us enjoyed it! Then walked back to the hotel, got our luggage, and rode the shuttle to the airport. Got on the plane and came back to Seattle.

This was the best vacation of my life. I did miss my husband and my baby boy, but all in all, I had a great time!!

I'll post pictures soon!!

They Come Today!

I am so excited! My dad will be here in a little over 5 hours... I amleaving here around 3:30 to meet them at the airport... I CAN'T WAIT!

There are so many other things going on though! I haven't heard from my mother-in-law since sunday, and I am getting worried. There's no phone either! I've tried myspace, yahoo messenger, etc. and still no word! My husband doesn't know though, so that's good, otherwise we'd be driving up there, and I don't want to!

Anyways, everything is good here... just excited for my dad and sisters and stepmom to be here!!!

Whoa!

I have been doing a ton of research over the past few days, and even now, when I should be getting a nap in, considering I have been exhausted lately, I am researching more and more. I am finding out that we need to get Peter's diagnosis. He is doing so good at Grandma's (he's been there since late Wednesday night) and it's given me some time to catch up on my rest, and prepare things for him. I love him so much, it's not even funny. I seriously think if I didn't have him, I wouldn't be here right now. He saved my life. He is an amazing little boy with such a personality. Anyways, I have researched alot! I found out about repetition and what it means to him, and about his fits. The fits that make me want to lose my mind! I also learned from Grandma and Grandpa that I need to be firm with him, because it's not helping any of my children by being a pushover. I REALLY need to learn that. I have been trying it with Jacquelyne since she got home from my mom's yesterday and she is actually taking a nap at naptime. Tonight, she sleeps in her own bed! Wahoo!! But I've learned alot. In less than 29 hours my dad, stepmom, and two little sisters will be here from Texas... I CAN'T WAIT! I know that we are going to have a blast! And I am excited to get to spend time with them!! I will definitely be blogging every night so I can update everyone!! I am psyched... so tomorrow, I meet them at the airport (to surprise my dad), and I can't wait... so time to take a nap... the kids are both sleeping!!

Hasta Luego! (I knew 3 years of Spanish would come to use for something!) Oh and by the way, I posted almost 50 pictures to Facebook this morning (most of them are Jacquelyne taking pictures of herself!!)

Where Exactly Do I Go From Here?

I have been trying to deny it. Trying since he was 3 years old... not gonna happen anymore. My baby is almost 7, and it's time I finally admit it. Peter has Autism. We have good days and bad days. Lately, it's been more bad than good. It's not fun. I end up in the corner sometimes crying because I cannot control my own child. It kills me to hear him scream. I think I've always known there was something different about him, I just didn't realize that it was that important to find out and deal with it, rather than just sit around and deny it. I love my little boy, he's been my rock for so long, and now I have to be his. It kills me. I don't know how to deal with it, but I am hoping to learn. He is my life. I think about him, his brother, and his sister every waking moment of my life. I don't know what to do. I'm tired of fighting with him over simple things, because all he does is scream. He screams over little things, like when he wants to watch something on the TV in the living room and no one else does, or when Jacquelyne takes a happy meal toy from him. And the screaming lasts for up to 4 hours. I just can't deal with it all the time. And Matt gets so frustrated he keeps threatening to leave. I am almost ready to tell him to go, I can do it on my own, but I know I can't. Matthew and Jacquelyne need me too. Although Peter is pretty independent, he still needs me. He's playing with his happy meal toys now, and it's 11:35 pm. I keep thinking he should go to bed, but I don't want to hear him scream. I don't want to cry anymore today. And then I feel guilty like I caused the Autism somehow. I know deep down that I didn't, but it's hard to tell your brain that. All I want is for my baby to be normal, but that will never happen, and I know it. Oh well, tomorrow is another day, another moment. But will it ever be normal?

Where do I go now? They say they have all sorts of programs, but what exactly are they going to do for my baby?

It's Been Awhile

While I have been trying to type everyday, to keep people I updated, I have not been able to. I haven't actually posted a new entry since we were in the hospital. And this is the first time since then, that my beautiful little girl has actually taken a regular nap! So...

School's out! Peter is home for the summer! And so far, so good. We are getting him a couch for his room, and that will be good. He would rather sleep on the couch then in his bed. This one is kind of a sectional. I actually might put it in my living room and put my couch in his room. Hmmm....

Jacquelyne is recovering well. She has done amazing! She knows she had surgery, and is happy as a clam! She is enjoying the summer too!!

Matthew is a step from crawling! He goes a few steps and then stops. It's the cutest thing ever! I wish he would stay little little forever, after all, he is the baby!!

The fourth of July was awesome! We went to Charlie's where it was supposed to be quiet, but no luck thanks to Uncle Jim! He bought a ton of fireworks for everyone to light off. Peter had a blast lighting fireworks for the first time!! Jacquelyne didn't like the big booms, but she seemed to be okay after a bit, and as long as she was with me, Shelley, Marni or Corinne! The highlight of the night for me was when we played "Thriller" and of course we've watched "13 Going On 30" a gazillion times, so Peter went out to the culdesac and was doing the Thriller dance! It was the cutest thing ever. Matthew slept through most of it, so it was all good.

**UPDATE** My mother-in-law, Janine, has about a year left. We went and saw her yesterday and she is not doing good. Please pray for her, as it is killing my husband that he is losing his mom. My daughter is also not happy about it. She loves her grandma so much! Her and I had a long talk yesterday and things are okay between us. We have our ups and downs, and no matter what, I will always love her. If she didn't have Matt, I wouldn't have my kids! I'll have to remember to thank her later tonight when I talk to her.

Anyways,... THAT'S ALL FOR NOW FOLKS!!

My Baby Did It!!

I am so astonished right now. So astonished by the fact that I had almost the same surgery in December, and didn't feel as good as she feels, less than 24 hours later! She is amazing! I can't believe how good she is being! As I type, she is sitting in a chair blowing bubbles and watching a Barbie movie. She has been so good. The earliest we will go home is tomorrow, she has a lot of things to accomplish before she can go home. We are working on the first one right now! She is sitting up!! Yay for my LaLa girl! Next, no epidural and pain meds by mouth, and solid food! That would be great too! She's gonna be back to her old self in no time! She is doing really good though, and I made it through too! I think I scared myself, just as much as the surgery did. I had all those bad thoughts. I know I am not the only parent who has those thoughts though!! Thank god my mom was there, or I don't think I could have done it!! So, it's back to the bubbles I go. Matt has to go home later, back to work tomorrow it is! Mommy is in full gear, and I get to be with my little girl!! I love you Jacquelyne!!!

Just Thoughts

So, it's Saturday. Saturday Evening to be exact, and I am freaking out. My daughter has surgery on Monday. They scheduled it. I have to be at Children's at 11:45am, and her surgery is at one. I know this is really a routine surgery, but is it okay as a mom to have worries? After all, she is the little girl I have been dreaming about since I was a little girl. And she's my only girl. I'll never have another one. I keep thinking, what if something happens to her, what if I lose my baby girl? I know that I am overreacting, but still, I am SCARED!! I'm supossed to talk to her, and explain to her what is going to happen. I don't know how to tell a three year old that they are going to knock her out, cut her open, and then sew her back up. How do you? I don't know I'm freakin out man!!
On a good note, I went to Lindsay's party today. I don't want to say it was wierd, because it wasn't, it was good, I mean I feel really good, but maybe because we were so little and now we are adults? You know when you have those friends that you don't talk to for like a year and a half, and all of a sudden you are talking again, and it's like things never changed? That's what it felt like, to me at least. I got to see her dad, and Aryka (her sister). It was so nice. I feel so much better. I will never ever in my life have a friend like that. One who knew me when I was just the size of Lala in like 1st grade! We've known each other since we were tiny. It feels so good just to have her back in my life!
Anywho, this will most likely be my last blog until after surgery on Monday, I will definitely fill everyone in as soon as it's over, and she is settled and the crowd has left!!
So until then, please pray for us, as this is something I am so not ready for! Au Revoir!

Attaching, Nervous

So, I have been dogsitting for my grandma for a week today. This dog is amazing! He's so good. He's very protective and such a cuddlebug. I am sure gonna miss him when he goes to my mom's on Sunday! Yesterday was such a good day. Matthew and Jacquelyne both took good naps (something they don't do when Daddy is off, like today), and Peter was pretty good too. It was also Nicci's birthday and I went over there for awhile last night. It's kinda wierd to go over there though, because me and her boyfriend were at one time together. I don't know how to explain it. I think it's just me being wierd though. Anyways, Nicci got to buy her very first bottle last night, and she got some awesome tequila! It was so smooth I didn't even need a chaser. I haven't needed training wheels in awhile, so no chaser was even cooler. I impressed Justin and Tim. And Nicci too. But then again, I really don't drink nothing else, but tequila. I'm kinda like that song 'Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo" except I don't drink Cuervo anymore. Oh well. It was fun!
My nerves are getting to me. I find out what time we have to be at Children's tomorrow. I am so scared. I think I would be alright if they didn't make me sign that waiver that if something happens I can't sue them for malpractice. I understand though, they do have to cover their bases. I am just really freaked out. I guess because she is so little and she has such a tiny frame, that they will give her too much medicine or something, and then I won't get to bring her home. I just worry way too much!!
But, it will be okay. Matt found out he has to work on Father's day, he's not happy, and neither am I. But we are going to go to Charlie's on Sunday adn BBQ and have a blast. Hopefully it's slow, and he'll get to come home early!!

The B*tch is Psycho!

I don't even know what to say. Last night, Matt tried to talk to his mom. Just because it is his mom, and she totally flipped out. Said that I am the drama queen, when she thrives off of it. I am so sick of the bitch it's not even funny! And she pulls her heart crap on everybody, that we are supossed to be lovign and not hate her because it hurts her heart, and it could kill her. I am so sick of it. I give up. Oh well, we were close, until she decided that her life revolved around myspace! Ugh! So she told Matt that she was done with him too because he was defending him. I love him so much! Poor guy, first he has to deal with the drama queen mom, and then she wants nothing to do with him because of his wife. I feel horrible for him, but I love him too much to let him go!

On a good note, Jacq's surgery is monday and we can't wait. I am so nervous, but at the same time, I am happy because she will be so much better off! And, Peter's last day of school was today, but he hasn't gone for the last 5. He just would rather stay home, and he's been having bad mornings, and if you know Peter, a bad morning leads to a bad day, and a phone call asking me to go and get him. It's just easier to keep him home! His teacher brought us his report card (we live across the street from his school), and the last line on the teacher's comments: "Have a great summer, and good luck in first grade Peter!" I started bawling like a baby! I can't believe he's gonna be in first grade. It seems like just yesterday I held him for the first time!

Baby is on his way to crawling! That first tooth is coming, and it's making him crabbier than ever. He's always crabby when I want to get things done. Matt called and told me to take care of the kids today. He is off tomorrow, and we can get things done then. He's so amazing... I don't know what I would do without him! He just found out he has to work on Father's day, and he's not too happy. It's a slow day today at work, so he might actually get to come home early. That would be nice, I love spending time with him. I love to cuddle on the couch, or when all the kids climb in bed with us and we watch a movie. I love to cuddle with the kids, period!

Lindsay's party is this weekend. I am gonna have to go all by myself (well, with the kids), but I am looking forward to seeing Lindsay, her dad, and her sister. I haven't seen them in so long! It'll be great to see all of them!

Anyways, this has turned out a lot longer than I thought! But, they say good things come in small packages, does that mean that even better things come in large packages, or bigger blog posts???

Just Venting!

I have had the worst past few days! In just 6 days, my daughter has surgery, which I am not looking forward to. Plus, last thursday my mother in law decided to go psycho! I don't get it. My poor husband was not born into a family with a good mother. She's psycho and needs to be committed! Thursday she got all mad at me because I am friends on myspace with someone she doesn't like. Oh well, it's not like I know them or talk to them. It's for an app. (I know kinda lame, but I only play it for my nephew). And she acts like it's the end of the world! I wrote her an told her to get over it, that I was tired of hearing her drama. The woman spends the entire day on Myspace. Okay, she's almost 50 weighs at least 190 pounds, smokes crystal meth, and acts like she is god! She isn't. She's annoying, and has told us numerous times that Myspace is more important than my husband, or my kids. Come on people, shouldn't she grow up? She drives me bananas. Then she writes me all these nasty letters, and my husband and we can't write her back! What the hell is that all about. Now we can't talk to Anthony, my husband's 12 year old brother, because we don't want to hear about myspace? What the fuck is wrong with her?? I am so annoyed and so pissed off, it's not even funny. I don't care that she is on the internet all day, I just want her to understand that we don't want to hear it! But I guess it's whatever. She's completely psycho, and I am tired of her drama. She caused a huge fight between me and my best friends, and then accused me of cheating on my husband twice with his older brother. Okay, or not. She loves to create drama for everyone... I don't get it! Why are there people out there like this!??!?!
And, we are dog sitting. Eddie is adorable, but he is not my cup of tea! He is so cute, and he loves to cuddle, but he is a chihuahua, and they are all together annoying!
I'm just frustrated today and needed to vent! Thank you to all who read this!

Baby Boy

My little man is 5 and a half months old, and when I noticed he wasn't feeling well, I started watching him. After three kids, I don't jump to the doctor's any more! I got the tylenol out, fed him apple juice and water and watched him. Wednesday night he didn't sleep good, but I figured not feeling well and the heat, he would be okay! Well, yesterday he wasn't. He had diarrhea for two days, he was throwing everything back up, and was extremely warm. It was time to call the doctors. I called the doctors, and they said he was dehydrated, and since he was spitting everything up, we needed to go to the ER. I went and got Peter from school, and Matt from work and we were on our way to Children's ER. It seems like it took forever to get there, and Matthew was extremely cranky the entire way! We finally got there, and they ran some tests, and sure enough he was severely dehydrated! And he had a fever of 103.6 when I got there. That wasn't good either. They put an IV in my baby, and took urine through a catheter (which I held him through both) and gave him IV fluids. After the IV was done, they brought him in some formula. He ate 4 ounces! I was so happy, especially since he hadn't been eating! We brought him home, and he slept all night. He was in my bed, but he slept all night! He's got a virus though, and it should pass over time. He got up at 7 this morning, and ate about 2 ounces of formula, played with his new toys from his Grandma, and he is now asleep with this toys in his bouncy chair. This is a happy day! He seems to be feeling better. No fever this morning!! I will update again tonight! =)

Hasta Luego!

I Can't Believe it!

I can't believe it. My baby girl is three today! And today of all days we are given a decision... what kind of surgery? My daughter has bladder reflux on the right side. And after talking to her Urologist today, we found out that she need ssurgery to correct it. I can't believe it. She's only three, but we need to protect her kidneys. I found out that her bladder is ginormous (Is that even a real word?) and the tube that comes down from her kidney to her bladder is not all the way in as it should be. So they have to do surgery. The first option was a scope the goes up her pee tract (the dr. actually said pee tract) and they stick something in the tube. But it only has an 80% success rate. So the second and third options were the same, they actually go in and reinsert the tube into her bladder. They both have a 98% success rate, but one is laproscopy and one is a scar like a c-section. Matt and I discussed and both felt more comfortable with them actually going in like a c-section and fixing it. That way they can actually see what's going on. They actually scheduled her surgery for June 22nd. Less than three weeks before I will be at Children's for a few days. I don't know what to think, what to do. My baby has to have surgery. I pray everyday that Matthew doesn't have any health problems. Peter had a T&A at two years, and the last thing I need is to have another child have a surgery under the age of 4! But they say this will fix her bladder and it's what she needs! So I have to just believe it!! It's telling everybody that is the hard part!

Au Revoir for now!

Surgery?

I hope one day that me and my daughter have the same relationship that me and my mom have. After all, I am pretty lucky, my mom is one of my best friends. I hope one day Jacq thinks the same thing about me! Right now, I know I am hers. She is all cuddled up to me right now. I am so nervous for tomorrow. Tomorrow we find out if they want to do surgery. Surgery on my three year old. Her 3rd birthday and we find out that she might have to have surgery on her kidneys. Kidneys? This is going to be so hard! At least the rest of the day will be fun for her. Nicci is coming over to watch her while I go to the college. I am enjoying the day with my daughter again, and plan to spend lots of time cuddling today (as I am folding laundry). I love her with all my heart, and I will spend every moment with her in the hospital. I love my Lala girl. She's sleeping now, and I can't help but watch. She's so precious!

Maybe I will write again later, but for now, It's all about Lala

Au Revoir!

A Busy Day

Wow! It's sunday already! I think I have blogged almost everyday this week... I can't believe it! Yesterday, poor Jacq layed on the couch all day and drank water. For the first time she asked for a baby bottle. I have never ever seen her ask for one in a long time! She is in quick rememberence that her birthday is tuesday and she will be three. She knows, she's excited and she reminds everybody when they call! Today is laundry day! It's gonna be 80 degrees outside and I am going to do laundry. I also have a few other things around the house to do, so it's okay. The kids could use a down day. Matt is off today and tomorrow, so it's family time today, and tomorrow Lala gets her day with Daddy. She loves Mondays! Especially when she doesn't have to share Daddy with Peter. Peter goes back to school tomorrow. I am dreading summer when he is home all day! =( But, he is going to Skyhawks soccer camp in August and it's a daycamp so it will be so much fun for him! He is finally getting involved in something. I want to get Jacq signed up for t-ball for the summer, or soccer too. I think it would be good for her! She wants to be a cheerleader, but the only place that I can find cheerleading is the boys and girls club and you have to be 7, so I guess she'll just have to wait!
Anyways, I am rambling again... time to let Peter take over and get on the computer... He spent all day playing sproutonline.com yesterday. It's all learning activities, so it was good. He also plays a few other websites and the school's summer reading website raz-kids.com, so he always has something to do!

Hasta Manana!

Stress Stress and More Stress

Well it's Saturday and what am I doing? Taking care of little miss bladder infection. This happens regularly and I still feel horrible everytime it happens. My poor little girl. My daughter has a disease called Bladder Reflux. It's alot like acid relux, but it's wehn you urinate and your bladder goes back in to your kidneys. She's got two pockets in her kidneys. It isn't fun, we go through testing every year, but it still kills me to have to deal with the fever, the infection itself. But it'll all be okay... someday!

Au Revoir for now!

An Award, Shopping, and No More Van!

So yesterday... I went and got Matt from work early, and then we came home to get Peter. Peter announces that there was an assembly yesterday, and he got an envelope. I pulled it out, and started bawling. My baby (ok not so much a baby) got an award from the Kiwanis Club of Federal Way! One of two kids in his class! I can't believe it! I am so proud of him! It's for good citzenship, and a good attitude. Shocking, because he never has a good attitude at home! I am so proud!

Then, we went and sold the van. It's gone! Oh well. I'm not mad, a little depressed about it, after all we had it when we brought the baby home from the hospital! So it's a little depressing! After that we took Peter out to dinner to celebrate his award!

Then... Jacq's birthday is on the 2nd! I can't believe it... She's gonna be 3 already! I finally got to take her shopping! She was so much fun! Except that she wanted everything in the store! We went to Wal-Mart, so she got a Lime green outfit (skirt and tank), a High School Musical purse, Lip Gloss, and a huge bubble wand! So much fun! I got a new purse and picked out my vacuum that we are going to pick up soon!

Woo hoo! Today, my daughter has already figured out how to make herself a peanut butter sandwich, and well it's just the beginning!

So... Hasta Luego!

Two Today, I'm Shocked!

So... when I was little I had dreams, big dreams. I was gonna be Paula Abdul. It seems like a long time since I was gonna be Paula Abdul, but still not alot has changed. Well rearranged maybe, but not changed. My best friend moved away when we were in third grade. I think I saw her once or twice after that. Then I thought I lost her forever. I didn't feel right, I felt like part of me was lost. She was after all, my very best friend, from Kindergarten beyond. She lived across the street. We had slumber parties all the time! It felt so wierd when she moved away! Then, about eight and a half years after I graduated from high school, I found this thing on the internet called myspace. I thought I would search. And sure as shit, I found her. I can't believe the internet does such great things, but I am so happy to have my friend back. And of course with everything going on, it's wierd, but it's amazing at the same time! I love you Lindsay!!

My Marriage

Now for those who know, Matt and I have been together off and on for almost 4 years and married for 3 of them. But it seems like the end is near. I am now being accused of cheating, lying, and whatever else he can think of. I am getting really annoyed by it. It's not fair that I have to put up with it constantly!!

But on a lighter note, I did get rid of the horrible van finally! And... Peter might get to go to soccer camp this summer! I totally hope so! He wants to go so bad! And that will make me the soccer mom I always have wanted to be!!

My Little Girl, A Camera, and Camping

Memorial Day weekend was awesome! We went camping with the kids up in Darrington and had a blast! I have a ton of pictures... the only problem... Jacquelyne took all of them! Oh well...

My little girl has an amazing personality! She had a blast this weekend. She got to do two of her favorite things... Camping and Taking Pictures... She took alot them herself! Her favorite thing to do is get ahold of my camera and take all sorts of pictures. Which she got a few good ones, but not quite the pictures I wanted!

We left Saturday after Matt got off work and went up to Darrington. Stayed out kinda late by the campfire, realized that I get the best part of my mom dating Bill... the boys. I love Bill's boys. They are awesome, and they love to tease me just as much as my own brothers do!
Sunday morning we got up, I made breakfast (Eggs, Hashbrowns, & Sausage), cleaned up the motorhome, and then went outside. The kids played and played, and eventually I had to bring Matthew in for a nap, but other than that, he had a blast and played and played in his little bouncy chair! My mom came out to camp from Bill's shortly after Matthew and I got up from his nap. She brought fried chicken and toys for the kids. They played with those all day and all night! Towards the evening, some of Billy and Randy's friends from town showed up and got the party going. Steve brought out a fifth with him, and all I saw was that it was clear liquid. After Matt drank some, Randy dragged me over there, and I smelled it, smelled okay, so I ~chug, chug, chug~ and it burned... Billy finally told me I drank moonshine... real moonshine! The kind that Grandma made on Beverly Hillbillies. It was nasty, but in a good way! Got the kids to bed, and Matt (he had been drinking since 9:30 that morning) and went to sleep.

Monday morning, got up, made breakfast, cleaned up, packed up the car, cleaned up camp, and off we went. Went to grandma's, stopped by my mom's and home we finally made it. It felt so good to sleep in my bed last night, and stayed nice and warm!!

This week is laundry time! I have finally got to crack down and get the laundry done, I also have to get a bedroom cleaned out, and get my house finished!! I can't wait... I have been procrastinating so bad, that it will feel so good to finally have everything put together. I also have to get my bedroom done too. Lots of Curtain hanging, and making things look pretty! I can't wait... that's my favorite part!!

Anyways, I am trying to remember to do this everyday, I have to put a reminder on my facebook so that I can update it everyday, I will try during naptime, as my kids have finally realized that they can take naps at the same time, Mommy will not get lonely!

So until then... Au revoir!

What Always Happens?

Well, right now I am sitting in Lynnwood Honda, getting my mom's car maintanced. Well, the car she is letting me borrow. It's quite the wierdness (is that a word?). Jacquelyne is being overly friendly as usual, and baby is sleeping like a doll in his car seat. This weekend was fun though!
Thursday - Jackie flew in! Right on! My mom and her picked Peter up to go to my grandma's, and they took Jacquelyne for the night. Got a good night's rest at least! Also got to enjoy some time with my husband and my baby!
Friday - Family BBQ at Charlie's. But it was unlike any family bbq we've ever had! Bill's family was there too. It was awesome. We really enjoyed ourselves... and we got the first ever pic of me and my brothers and sister as adults. I actually looked like an adult in it this time! Jacquelyne came home with us, and we had Nicci with us too. It was fun!
Saturday - Went up to Bill's. So much fun! Rode the ATV's, and actually had time to sit and relax and enjoy the campfire. Mom, Bill, and Jackie went to Bill's house that night, so me and Matt and the two little ones slept in the motorhome. I got drunk off tequila with Michelle, Max, Billy, and Courtney after my kids went to bed. That was fun!
Sunday (Mother's Day) - Woke up, got ready, and left the campground! Stopped at two smoke shops, Jack and the Box, and Janine's before we had to go to Charlie's. At Charlie's we had fun! It was nice and relaxing for the most part! Got a really pretty necklace and a plaque from my mom and grandma. Had a good day with the kids. Brought Matt, Lala, and Matty home and then went and got Janine. Brought her home with us!
All Janine did almost the entire time she was here until yesterday was sit on my computer! Oh my gosh! I didn't know someone could sit on myspace so long! Tuesday night was Peter's kindergarten concert, and he did so good. I am still so proud of him! I love him so much! And yesterday, I brought Janine home and relaxed!
Whoo! Now today, I am sitting at Lynnwood Honda, and getting after Jacquelyne. After putting all that into words, no wonder I am so exhausted this week!!

What else to say? Not much... I could really use a break from my husband... I am really tired of all the crap I am getting!

Until next time!!
**xxoo**

May 7, 2009 ~ The First

Well, this is really super new to me, and I am very excited about it. I figure having this will keep family members up to date on what is going on with the kids and us as a whole family!
Well to those who are new to our family: We consist of me (Terisa, the wife & mom), Matt (the dad & husband), Peter (oldest, 6 years old), Jacquelyne (Lala , two years old), and Matthew (baby, 4 months old). We are a happy little family. I am a stay at home mom, and enjoy every minute of it. I love the fact that I get to watch my kids grow day by day. Sure, there are lots of frustrations with it, but it is totally worth all the frustration for one moment of complete and total happiness with them. My children are amazing and I love them dearly.
Peter, who is 6, is a complete and total artist wannabe. He loves to draw, color, paint, anything that has to do with art! Lala, almost 3, is the total girly girl always playing with her babies, and loves to color too. Matthew, well he's a complete and total different story. He is the last baby. I had my tubes tied, so no more babies for me. He is learning so fast and growing so fast, I can't even believe it!
Matt and I have been married for three years. He is amazing to me. He takes such good care of me and the kids, its not even funny. I love him so much!

Today was a great day! My sister flew in from Minnesota this morning, and I hadn't seen her in almost two years. It really sucks her, her husband, and my neice and nephew live all the way out there! But, she flew in and my mom picked her up. They came to our house, and well, took two of my kids outta my hair! Peter went to his great-grandma's for the weekend, and Lala got to go spend the night with my mom and my sister. At last check she wore them out! So, Matt and I got a day with just Matthew. I don't think we've had a day like that for a long time. It was really nice. Just the three of us, and Matthew slept part of the day, so it was basically a husband and wife day. I really enjoyed it! Now, we are watching "27 Dresses" and I am getting ready to go to bed!
Good night all... I will write again tomorrow night!